How To Be A Modern Hipster
How To Be A Modern Hipster:
Eighteen steps that will teach you to be the modern-cultured geek/hipster/indie kid you never were.
Step 1: Buy a Mac.
You’ll look stylish toting around your new MacBook and pretending to write a novel at your local Starbucks.
Step 2: Buy a Moleskine.
Refuse to write in anything but Moleskines. Scribble your inspiring (and probably stupid) thoughts/ideas into it while carrying the black pocket version with you everywhere. Once again, you’ll look awesome madly doodling in it at Starbucks.
Step 3: Get the look.
Be thin and get rid of your acne. Get a mildly scene haircut with a hint of messy hipsterness. Boys: medium length flippy hair (no crazy colors). Girls: shaggy medium to long length natural looking hair (sidebangs are optional); no streaks or non-natural colors. Wear band shirts that you don’t necessarily like/know and other vintage goodies from thrift shops/Urban Outfitters. Buy and sport black-framed Ray Band’s even if they aren’t prescription. Boys, wear baggy denim skinny jeans and other clothes (hoodies) found at skateshops. Girls, American Apparel/Urban Outfitters/thrift shops. Wear bright dunks or skate shoes (Nike, Osiris, etc.). If you’re looking for the indie girl style, wear plain flats. Boys can accessorize with a Jansport backpack or other messenger bag and hi-tech watch. Girls can accessorize with a small shoulder sling (possibly [faux] leather), original necklaces/bracelets, and the occasional American Apparel braid string to tie around hair. Have good hygiene.
Step 4: Love the music.
Delete all of your radio/billboard songs off of your precious MacBook. Search for indie bands on the internet (or local) and download their albums onto your iPod. Listen through them and keep the ones you like. Go to underground concerts with bands you didn’t know existed at your local skateshop and don’t do anything but slightly nod your head or tap your foot to the music with your hands in your pockets. Don’t seem too interested. Besides indie music, listen to sick electronic beats. Buy awesome headphones and always have them around your neck.
Step 5: Learn an electro dance.
Whether it be Tecktonik, hardstyle, or jumpstyle, be decent at it.
Step 6: Make a Tumblr blog.
Post your daily ramblings and artistic/inspiring pictures onto it frequently. Follow other geeky/indie/hipster Tumblr blogs.
Step 7: Love Helvetica.
Join the Helvetination. Eat, breathe, sleep and drink nothing but Helvetica. Write all of your school essays in it and refuse to use any other font on the internet.
Step 8: Get into vintage electronics.
Head to your local thrift shop and pick up an old typewriter, portable audio player (preferably 8-track or cassette), record player (and some records), film camera (preferably a metal rangefinder), and a retro game system (NES, SNES, Atari, etc.).
Step 9: Actually use your electronics.
Type up school assignments with your typewriter, occasionally switch out your iPod for your cassette player, jam to some Beatles with your record player, take some artistic photos with your camera, and game on your console.
Step 10: Turn your room into Retroland.
Furnish your room with the electronics you just bought, anything that involves cute robots and dinosaurs, and furniture/art from Urban Outfitters. Raping your wall with posters is optional.
Step 11: Read ‘The Perks Of Being A Wallflower’.
Then live it. Reading books on a regular basis is optional (but preferred).
Step 12: Unleash your inner-geek.
Have a retro Nintendo-character (Mario, Zelda, Donkey Kong, etc.) marathon and mash buttons to your heart’s content. Read geeky web 2.0 blogs that you’re interested in and don’t be afraid to be proud of your geekiness.
Step 13: Get an indie/hipster hobby.
Photography, filmmaking, audio producing, skateboarding, reading/writing, playing an instrument (guitar, trombone, piano, saxophone, etc.) and snowboarding are all great hobbies to get into.
Step 14: Smoke weed.
Responsibly and in moderation. Use it to expand your mind and boost your creativity. Don’t be a pothead and don’t do any other drugs. There is a difference between marijuana and everything else.
Step 15: Be green and a vegetarian/vegan.
Use public transportation, your vintage bike, or your vespa. Don’t eat meat.
Step 16: Don’t be stupid.
Get at least moderately good grades at school (preferably honor student), don’t be rude (or do/say stupid jokes), and be friendly but fairly shy (and possibly a hint of awkwardness).
Step 17: Dislike anything that’s currently ‘popular’.
This includes Hannah Montana, The Jonas Brothers, Twilight, and all that other childish bullshit out there.
Step 18: Add your own personality to it.
Don’t be afraid to mix things up a bit and try your own thing. Don’t be a poser (that includes following this guide to the very last detail).
